10 Pounds Gone!

Still Alive

Hello... hello... hello... (echo, echo).

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still alive.  The past week has been difficult; my health has not been good, and my emotional state has been strained.

I was back at the doctor's office last Thursday (August 12th), and was told (by a different doctor than I've been seeing) that I "actually probably don't have celiac disease."  What?!  I don't really understand the science behind the diagnosis; but it seems that I do have the gluten anti-bodies, but not as many as would be expected if I did have celiac disease.  The doctor on Thursday suggested that I have a gluten sensitivity, and since then, I have been slowly introducing (healthy) gluten back into my diet without much change.  (Incidentally, she also doesn't believe I have Sjögren's, either).

That still begs the question -- why have I been so miserable and sick?  They really have no idea.  They're running a butt load of tests, but who knows?

I'm starting to wonder if the stress I am under is making me physically sick, but that's another story.  I'm taking steps to promote total wellness in my life, but it's a long and tedious process.  Until I get things figured out, my posts here are likely to be less frequent.

I promise I'll be back -- probably with a new name (since apparently Jenna doesn't need to be totally gluten-free) and maybe a new look, too.

Until then, be well everyone!

The Celiac's Best Friend

Since my diagnosis, I've felt pretty left out.  Many social activities revolve around eating and drinking, and now that I have dietary restrictions to cope with, I haven't been invited to or involved with many gatherings.  Even at work, my co-workers don't ask if I want to "do" lunch anymore, and on ordering-in days, my cubicle is skipped over.

At home, we haven't been eating out nearly as much as we used to, except for a few times when we'd hit up Culver's and I'd order a salad.  This is good, because it's saving us a lot of money -- and fast food is a meal option that's healthy for us to miss out on, anyway.

It's just that I miss it.  A lot.  Eating out is a hard habit to break, made even more depressing by the fact that I don't have many (any?) good gluten-free fast food options.

Until now, that is!  My friend (and fellow celiac) suggested I try Jimmy Johns' "Unwiches."

These tasty morsels are just like their sub sandwiches, except they're wrapped up in crisp lettuce instead of warm bread.  They're a little bit messier to eat, but they taste amazing -- and the best part is, they're healthy and gluten-free!

It's nice to have an option that fits great with my nutrition plan (lean protein + complex carbs in one wrap!) that I can enjoy while out with family and friends.  Even if you're not on a gluten-free plan, I highly recommend trying an Unwich!

Disclaimer:  I'm not being paid by Jimmy John's to endorse their product(s), nor am I affiliated with the company in any way (besides being a loyal customer of theirs).  I'm just a somewhat crazed fan of gluten-free deliciousness!

A Plan, I Has One!

It's Tuesday again, which means it's check-in time for the Healthy You Challenge!  I hope everyone is having a successful August!

Me -- I've been flopping.  A lot.  I have good intentions, but haven't actually accomplished anything in a couple of weeks now.  In fact, I gained weight, and then managed to maintain the gain.  Whoo, go me!

I've been trying to think about why I haven't been seeing any results, and I think I have a solution.  Check out my flow chart:

No Plan ---> No Goals ---> No Results ---> No Motivation

So today, I'm excited to announce a plan.  I has one!

I will be following the Eat Clean Diet, which isn't actually a "diet" -- it's a nutrition plan.  There are no caloric restrictions, no foods to eliminate, no potions to drink.  You eat 6 to 7 small meals each day, drink copious amounts of water, and feed your body healthy foods.  The plan jump-starts your metabolism each morning and keeps it chugging all day long.  And best of all, it's highly compatible with gluten-free living!  I've eaten "clean" in the past and saw great results; I don't remember why I stopped, but this time, I'm going to make it last!

As my Eating Clean book states, a good body is created with 10% genetics, 10% exercise, and 80% nutrition.  By following the meal plan, I'm already addressing the 80% component.  To kick up my exercise, I'm going to start with walking during my lunch breaks 3 or 4 times a week.  I also want to start weight lifting, and although space is an issue in our tiny apartment, I'm going to find a place to set up our weight machine.  And then, I'm going to start using it.

As much as I love my morning Starbucks run, I'm going to eliminate that (most days -- a treat is okay once in awhile!) and replace it with wholesome green tea.  I'm also aiming for getting in at least 80 ounces of water each day (I realize this puts me well over my "8 glasses a day," but given the Sjögren's Syndrome, I really need to keep myself completely hydrated!)

So, we'll see how this goes.  Today is my first day in full-swing, and I spent a good half-hour last night packing a cooler for work today.  The cooler is full of nutritious foods -- low fat yogurt, carrots, green beans, an apple and a banana, Jell-O (for dessert!), lean turkey lunch meat (I had to improvise on my proteins), and tuna.  With practice, I'll get better at packing and planning!

My goal for the week is to really give this my all.  I know that if I can "tough it out" for one week, I'll be feeling really good -- and making healthy choices will come a lot easier, because I'll want to maintain my wellness.  As far as a weight goal, I just want to see that number edge down, baby!

D'oh

What is going on?  Is the Earth spinning backwards or something?

I don't know about anyone else, but I am feeling completely off and just -- wrong.

The scale didn't budge this week... not an ounce one way or another.  I know I'm lacking in the effort department right now, but seriously?  I haven't been binging on junk food or anything, either.

I have been really sick.  Celiac-related sick.  I was up for almost two hours last night, doubled over in gastrointestinal distress.  My Jason helped me run through everything I consumed all weekend -- no gluten that we could identify.  Possibly I have been into a hidden gluten source, or (probably?), my body is still trying to heal from all the damage that's been done to it.

My psoriasis has been especially bad these past few days -- which is probably linked to my celiac flare-up.  (Both disorders are autoimmune-related).

I'm showing many symptoms of Sjögren's Syndrome, which is another autoimmune condition strongly linked to celiac disease.

Allow me just this one moment of self-pity --

This sucks.  Really bad.  Sigh, woe is me, and whatnot.

I need to get into the fighting spirit.  I know I can shake this!  It's GO TIME.

Wellness

In thinking about getting myself back on track, my mind has been focused on one thing -- wellness.

I'm a big fan of wellness; it implies not only physical health, but mental, emotional, and spiritual balance as well. Our bodies can be toned and trim, but without good mental health (for lack of better term), we are missing out on a big piece of what it means to be truly well.

To that end, I am going to begin using this journal not only to track my weight and experiences with celiac disease, but also to explore various methods of attaining inner balance and peace. As I have mentioned before, I want to look and feel better. This is a whole new step in the journey!

I've decided to start by exploring the chakras (pronounced "CHAK-ruhs"). As a teenager, I was in therapy on-and-off for around five years, and my groovy counselor Janet J. was very into studying the chakras. It's been fun brushing up on this!

Chakras Diagram courtesy of Tree of Life.

Chakras are centers of energy. Located along the mid-line of our bodies, they govern our psychological properties and well-being. There are seven chakras:

1. Root ( ) The Root chakra represents feeling physically present and at home in any situation. If it is:

• Open, you feel stable, secure, and grounded.
• Under-Active, you feel nervous, anxious, and unwelcome.
• Over-Active, you may be greedy and/or materialistic.

2. Sacral ( ) The Sacral chakra represents emotions and sexuality. If it is:

• Open, you are able to express your feelings without becoming over-emotional, and you are comfortable with your sexual self.
• Under-Active, you close yourself off from others and are unemotional.
• Over-Active, you tend to be very emotional all the time, and you may be over sexual. 

3. Navel ( ) The Navel chakra indicates how you handle yourself in groups and social situations.  If it is:

• Open, you have good self-esteem and feel in control.
• Under-Active, you are generally passive and indecisive.
• Over-Active, you tend to be very aggressive in groups.

4. Heart ( ) The Heart chakra represents your love and kindness.  If it is:

• Open, you are friendly, compassionate, and have harmonious relationships with others.
• Under-Active, you tend to be cold and distance yourself from others.
• Over-Active, you may be suffocating others with your love.  Your affections may be for selfish reasons.

5. Throat ( ) The Throat chakra talks about self-representation.  If it is:

• Open, you are very good at expressing yourself.  You may be an artist.
• Under-Active, you tend to be introverted and overly shy.
• Over-Active, you tend to be a poor listener and often domineer conversations.

6. Third Eye ( ) The Third Eye chakra represents insight and visualization.  If it is:

• Open, you have great intuition.  You may tend to fantasize.
• Under-Active, you may be too rigid in your thinking.  You may rely on authority figures to make decisions for you.
• Over-Active, you may live in a fantasy world.  You may daydream too much, and hallucinations are even possible in extreme cases.

7. Crown ( ) The Crown chakra represents wisdom and oneness with the world.  If it is:

• Open, you are unprejudiced and possess great self-awareness.
• Under-Active, you tend to be a rigid thinker.  You are likely unaware of your own spirituality.
• Over-Active, you are probably intellectualizing too much.  You may become addicted to spirituality and may neglect your physical body's needs.

Eclectic Energies has an online quiz that you can take to see how open and/or closed your chakras are. Here are my results:



My Root chakra is under-active, while my Heart and Third Eye chakras are both over-active.  My Sacral, Navel, Throat, and Crown chakras are all open.  The results seem to fit my present status very well; I'm going to work on this, and come back in a few weeks to re-check my chakras.  It will be interesting to see how they change!



"Chakras Awakening & Balancing" courtesy of Mimosa.

Healthy You Update #3

Man, I hate it when I wake up in the morning and don't feel like P. Diddy!  I haven't been waking up feeling good at all.  Actually, it's generally been an "off" week.

Let's see.  I gained weight (and not just a fraction of a pound -- a whole pound!)  I sucked at drinking water, we didn't set up the weight machine, and I'm way off from my weigh-in goal.  I did take our new puppy, Piper, for lots of walks -- but she's so excited about smelling! peeing! pooping! sniffing! barking! chasing the bugs! peeing some more! that the walks weren't exactly great exercise.

I hate having celiac disease, and I hate that I allowed myself to binge on gluten so badly last week.  I am really, really sick again today (and was yesterday, too).  Why did I do this to myself?  Stomach cramping, aching muscles, headaches, psoriasis flare-ups, and dehydration don't particularly make me feel like working out -- or even being healthy for that matter.  Right now, I want to curl up under my desk and cry.

I'm not setting any particular goals for myself this week.  I just want to get this train back on the tracks and get myself feeling better.

Blah.

I hope everyone else had a good week!  I say, let's make this one good!

The Con

I hate when people use the elevator to go up one level.

It's even worse when they use it to go DOWN one level.

I work in an office building with many spoiled (and largely obese) state workers who evidently have something against using the stairs.  This obsession means that a short jaunt on the elevator can easily take up to five minutes to complete.

In the name of fairness, let me just say a whole lot, given the fact that I use the elevator, too.  I always ride from Floor 2B (way in the basement) to Floor 6 (with is a total of 8 floors and 16 flights of stairs up) when I arrive each morning.

HOWEVER -- if I'm going down, I always take the stairs.  (I might get a little dizzy from all the down-and-around, but it isn't too strenuous).  Going up, it depends on how far I have to go.  If we're talking up to three or four levels, I'll take the stairs.  Any more than that and I generally go 50/50 (example: take the elevator from 2B up to Floor 2 or 3, then take the stairs up to 6).  Each week, I try to climb more stairs than I did the week before.

Sure, I have lazy days and weeks, but at least I'm making an effort.  Constant disregard for health and wellbeing makes me a little cranky, especially when the person complains as they continue to indulge in their negative habit (example: taking the elevator up one level with your arms full of vending machine junk from the cafeteria while complaining that your back hurts).

Actually, I might just be grumpy because I gained weight this week -- a full 1.1 lbs.  Speaking of accountability for one's own wellbeing, who here has been binging on gluten-packed foods, then wondering why (a) she doesn't feel well, and (b) she gained weight.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Well, I'm tired of feeling crappy all the time -- especially because I have complete control over my health on this one.  It's really, seriously time to go strictly gluten-free.  Good-bye, wheat, barley, and rye products... I'll miss you forever.

Fit Point: Supplements

How to Participate in Fit Blogs' Fit Point:

Write a post relevant to the topic.
Use the banner and link back to Fit Blogs.
Share the rules on your blog.
List yourself at Fit Blogs.
Comment on the person before you in the list.
Grab some creativity and free networking!

This week's Fit Point has had me pondering since Monday...

Supplements
With so many vitamins, proteins, fat burners and more on the market, there is often a lot of uncertainty over what the best combination is for your personal activity levels. What supplements do you use, and what are the benefits of each? Do you think supplements are necessary? If you have used various brands or types, what has worked best for you, and why? Where did you find the best supplement advice?

I've never been much of a supplement person. I don't like taking Tylenol when I have a headache or DayQuil when I have a cold -- I'm the kind of person who avoids pills of any kind like the plague.  When I'm sick, I try to let my body fight it off on its own, or turn to natural remedies (example: warm tea for a sore throat).  If my body needs a particular nutrient, I'd rather provide that by adjusting my diet.

My aversion has become especially pronounced since 2008.  I decided to try the Alli weight loss system, which essentially prevents your body from absorbing the fats that you consume.  Instead, the fat (literally) zips right through you.  I realize that a weight loss medication is different from a supplement, but I didn't do well with the Alli pills.  It was disgusting, to say the least, and probably unhealthy.  I decided then and there to prevent putting additives into my body at all costs.

A couple of months ago, I decided to try a Green Tea supplement, which I had heard boosts the metabolism and supports overall wellness.  However, I can't give much of an opinion on this.  I stopped taking the supplement after only a week or so, when I was diagnosed with celiac disease.  At this point, I've been focused on regaining my health rather than boosting my metabolism.

With that said, I am taking two other "supplements" of sorts that are meant to help my body heal from the damage that the gluten has caused my body.  First, I take Floragen-3, which is a probiotic.  As my doctor explained, all of the gastrointestinal problems I've been dealing with have essentially wiped the "good" bacteria out of my body.  The Floragen-3, taken once per day, is helping to restore and maintain what I lost.  Once my GI symptoms fully resolve, I shouldn't need the probiotic anymore -- although I might give Activia a try, just for the hell of it.

Finally, I have started choking down a gluten-free daily multi-vitamin (which was expensive like whoa).  My GI tract is damaged as a result of the celiac disease, which means that (until it heals) I'm not able to fully digest and absorb the nutrients from the food I eat.  The multi-vitamin helps by providing what my body is unable to get from my food; and actually, I've noticed a huge difference now that I'm not malnourished anymore!

Murphy's Law

Lose five pounds -- gain a stretch mark.

Sabotage

I have a confession to make.

This is so bad.

I have been eating gluten.

Not a lot -- not enough to make me feel sick immediately after eating -- but enough.  Even a trace of gluten is too much for a celiac.

I don't know what my major malfunction is on this one.  I know I shouldn't be nibbling on my daughter's french fries, I know I need to avoid the mini breadsticks from the pizza parlor, I know better than to grab a croissant from the gas station on my way to work.  I can definitely tell the difference in how I feel.  In other words, I've felt like crap the past couple of days, and I know it's because I've been giving myself permission to slowly poison myself.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The problem is, I can't seem to stop.  One little french fry seems so harmless... even when it turns into two, three, or even ten.  But continue that gluten consumption over the next few days, and it becomes too much.  Way too much.

Part of my problem is, I haven't found the "good" gluten-free products yet.  Most of the gluten-free options I've sampled taste plain nasty, if they have any flavor at all.  And because gluten is the "glue" that holds many foods together, when it's removed from the recipe, the dish just turns out wrong.

Another barrier is that I don't have any celiac or gluten intolerant connections.  I don't have anyone to talk to who relates to and understands what it feels like to have celiac disease; to be told that you can never, ever eat gluten again.  (I'm a super big baby on this point, because food as always been like a comfort blanket to me.  A bad day could easily be remedied by a nice, comforting bowl of Noodles & Co. Wisconsin Mac and Cheese.  Now, I can't turn to my old comforts anymore -- and it's making my anxiety level skyrocket!)

The good (bad?) news is, I feel completely miserable now.  I feel like I did before I went gluten-free in the first place, which is pretty darn crappy.  I'm hoping that feeling miserable will be enough to remind me to eat healthily and to treat myself well.

Because I deserve it.

Celiac Lady

CELIAC LADY
By Aldo Kraas

I feel so sorry
For the celiac lady
That lives in the hotel
With her cat called
Frisky
I am sure that
The celiac lady loves her cat
And I know that the celiac lady
Can't eat everything
Because of her celiac disease

Healthy You Update #2

I've neglected my poor blog for a whole week! I have entries to write, comments to respond to, posts to read... and I haven't even finished my coffee yet.

So let me just start by admitting that no, I did not meet all of the goals that I set for myself last week. I re-discovered Diet Coke, which I accidentally-on-purpose kept filling up on, so the 70 ounces of water per day thing didn't really happen. The weight machine remains in pieces at the back of our closet, and while I'm not sure exactly how much aerobic exercise I squeezed in, I know it wasn't in the neighborhood of 90 minutes.

BUT (and as you will have noticed if you scoped out my "Weight Tracker" thingy), I DID meet my goal weight for the week! I was sitting at 191.1 lbs on Sunday, which is (a) the lowest weight I've seen in a good 6 months, and (b) means I'm almost to the 10 pounds lost mark!

I'm feeling pretty good as I move into this week. Goals:

• Drink at least 70 ounces of water each day
• Walk for (at least) 30 minutes every day **
• Get husband to help me set up the weight machine
• Weight goal for next weigh-in:  189.0 lbs

Yes, most of the goals are the same as last week's.  "If at first you don't succeed," etc. and so on.

** As of Saturday, I have a pretty strong motivator for getting in those 30 minutes of walking each day!  Meet the new addition to our family, Piper!  She's a 14-month-old Parson Russell Terrier mix.  She's a tiny little thing; 11 pounds and essentially full-grown.  She's got the spirit of a much bigger dog, though, and is full of endless energy!

Piper has brought a lot of joy into our home already.  She's the perfect blend of active and loving, curious and assertive, hilarious and adorable.  She's spoiled rotten (and she knows it, too!)

Looking forward to a good, brisk walk-and-romp tonight with my daughter and our pup!

Here's to another great week -- cheers!

Fit Point: Alternative Diet

How to Participate in Fit Blogs' Fit Point:

Write a post relevant to the topic.
Use the banner and link back to Fit Blogs.
Share the rules on your blog.
List yourself at Fit Blogs.
Comment on the person before you in the list.
Grab some creativity and free networking!
Today's Fit Point is extremely relevant in my life!

Alternative Diet Options
This week’s Fit Point explores Alternative diet options: Many health conscious individuals may be Vegan, Vegetarian, Gluten-free dieters or employ other alternatives to the normal dieting habits even semi-regularly, and we want to hear about them! What are the health benefits of the way you eat, and why did you decide to eat this way? What is your favorite recipe?

I considered myself to be a vegetarian on-and-off throughout middle and high school, but my dedication was never great and the commitment never lasted long.

Now, however, I'm in an entirely different boat.  I have celiac disease, which means that I must stick to a strictly gluten-free diet.  (Gluten is a protein that is found in grains, such as wheat, barley, and rye.  It acts as a toxin in my body, causing lower-intestine inflammation and a host of other problems).  So long as I avoid all gluten-containing foods and products, I'll be fine (once all traces of the protein leave my body).

So yes, there are a LOT of things that I can't have.  Most breads, pastas, and cereals contain wheat or gluten, sauces frequently contain gluten as a thickening agent, the glue on envelopes has gluten in it -- even certain medications and cosmetics contain gluten products!
The health benefit is clear, though -- I am forced to avoid a lot of junk foods.  Most fast food, candies, cheap chocolates, and snack foods are off-limits.  Losing weight and being healthy is going to be much easier with the removal of most of my biggest temptations!

Since my diagnosis, I have been eating a lot of salads.  I'm kind of a minimalist -- my favorite salad is made with fresh baby spinach, corn, cherry tomatoes, sunflower seeds, a sprinkle of cheese, and a drizzle of low-fat dressing.  Yum -- I think I know what's for dinner tonight!

Healthy You Update #1

I am now officially recognized by the Healthy You Challenge! I'm new to the community aspect of blogging, but so far am enjoying myself. It's truly inspiring to read about other people's experiences and successes -- weight loss is difficult but possible, and it's nice to know that people are backing me on this (and that I can make a difference by supporting others, too!)

That said, this past week has been emotionally and physically challenging. It's been just over a week since I ate my last trace of gluten (accidentally), and with each day that passes, I'm feeling (physically) better. The disappointing factor is that I won't feel 100% normal until every last ounce of gluten has left my system -- and gluten is stored in fat cells, so as I continue to lose weight, gluten will be slowly released. It acts as a toxin or poison, so I can look forward to some icky days until I'm truly "clean." I've been under a lot of emotional strain, and my doctor has suggested that I try seeing a health psychologist, who could help me process my diagnosis. I'm open to this idea, but I'd like to come to terms with having celiac disease on my own first.

I gained weight at my weigh-in on Sunday, but less than half a pound. The gain may also be due to girly-related bloating. Out of curiosity, I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed in at 193.2 -- so at least we're heading in the right direction.

My goals for the week:

• Drink at least 70 ounces of water each day
• Go for (at least) a 15-minute walk each work day
• Get husband to help me set up the weight machine
• Accomplish (at least) 90 minutes of aerobic exercise
• Weight goal for next weigh-in:  191.5 lbs

I want my goals to be challenging but reasonable.  Baby steps.  These goals push my present routine, but shouldn't be too difficult.  I need to see change so that I can kick my excitement and motivation into high gear!

Have a great and successful week, everyone!

Thinspiration

I was looking through some old pictures of me that are tagged on Facebook, and came across this.  I'm pretty much floored.  Look at how thin I was!  That tank top is hanging off of me.  No sign of bye-bye arms, no double chin, and my self-confidence was through the roof.  This was around the time when I started realizing that I had a good body and was appealing.  This was only five years ago!

I think being fat creeps up on you.  It's hard to notice a few pounds here and there, until suddenly you see an old picture of yourself and then you feel completely disgusting.  How could I let myself go like this?

This picture "thinspires" me to really get going.  I haven't been giving this my all.  Since I've been eating gluten-free, the weight is slowly coming off on its own, so it's been hard to motivate myself to be active.  (Why bother when I'm still losing weight without the "busting my ass" part?)  It's time to kick this into high gear.  I don't want to sit around waiting for the Gluten-Free Gods to dissolve the fat for me... I'm taking matters into my own hands.

Here comes the Irony Train!  Yes, when this picture was taken, I was at my slimmest (adult) size ever -- but I wasn't healthy at all.  I was thin because I lived mostly on Diet Coke and cigarettes.  Who needs to eat when you're young and invincible?

Well this time, I'm doing it the right way.  I want to achieve total wellness -- body, mind, and soul.  I want to look good, but more importantly, I want to be healthy.  I want to eat a balanced diet and be mindful of the things I put in my body.  I want to have my ducks in a row, I want to know myself, I want to live with as little stress as possible.  I want to feel good about my life and my place in the world.

I know my goals are lofty, but they're also completely possible.  My game plan?  Baby steps -- making one positive change at a time until I'm where I want to be in life.

So cheers -- and here's to the real beginning!  Things are about to get good fast.

Fit Point: Beat the Heat

Heat advisories are popping up all over the state, because apparently it's going to be a million degrees in the shade today.  I treated myself to an iced frappuccino (340 succulent calories) because I deserve it, and because hot caffeinated beverages are unacceptable when it's this freaking hot outside.

Which is a great transition to today's Fit Point!

Beat the Heat
Do you let the heat get to you? Does it push you to sweat for the beach body of your dreams? How do you keep cool in the middle of a sweltering summer workout?

The heat does get to me.  A lot.  It always has, even when I wasn't chunky like I am now.  The thing is, I don't notice the heat so much when I'm working out -- it actually bothers me more when I'm sitting around (I get heat sick very easily).  But when I'm working out, I don't notice it as much.  I keep myself well-hydrated during (and after) exercise, and I work up an amazing sweat that helps to keep me cool.

I find exercise to be addicting, and once I can get myself motivated to do it (I'll be honest, it takes some effort to work up the gumption!) I'm all about beating my personal bests and pushing myself to do more.  Counting calories is only one component to successful weight loss, and exercising in and of itself motivates me to "keep going!" because I know I'm burning fat and kicking ass.

My biggest motivation is feeling better and being healthy.  Especially given my recent health issues, my body feels weak and disoriented.  Eating gluten-free is helping more than I thought it would, but exercise brings everything full-circle as I begin to heal and strengthen my body.  My second biggest motivation is re-claiming my body and re-gaining my sexiness.  I want an envy-worthy body, and the best part is, I know I'll get there eventually so long as I don't give up!

How to Participate in Fit Blogs' Fit Point:

Write a post relevant to the topic.
Use the banner and link back to Fit Blogs.
Share the rules on your blog.
List yourself at Fit Blogs.
Comment on the person before you in the list.
Grab some creativity and free networking!

PMS Monster

The office smells like buttery pancakes and syrup, and how the hell is that fair to those of us (which, admittedly, is a minority here) who are watching what we eat?  It's hard enough to stick to your guns when people aren't forcing delightful scents up your nostrils!  Well, you pancake-bringers are enablers, and you're not taking me with you (today), so ha!  I say "ha!" at you and your delicious, breakfast goodness!

(Actually, this is kind of like torture.  It's smelled sooo good in here since 7:30 a.m., and I've been fighting off cravings all morning).

I weighed in on Sunday.  Still 193.0 lbs., although I did hit 192.6 at some point during the week.  At least it's not a gain, but I've had very little appetite all week, so it's very disappointing to see the scale stall after a whole week of eating like a saint.  My biggest sin was snacking on a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie -- only 160 calories!

At this point, I'm pretty sure that all of my troubles can be accounted for by the dreaded PMS Monster:

• Little/no energy for "silly things like exercise"
• Bloating (hopefully 1-2 pounds' worth)
• Salt cravings (hello, salsa and corn chips!)
• Taking my irritability out on pancake-eating co-workers via a passive-aggressive blog
• Tearfulness (when I think about all of the amazing foods I can't eat anymore)
• Feeling important enough to post a blog about the PMS Monster

So my plan is to defeat this mini-success-plateau before it turns into a six-week-long-plateau-of-no-weight-change-that-makes-you-cranky-enough-that-you-binge-then-fall-off-the-wagon kind of deal.

Despite the humidity, I'm going for a walk on my 15-minute break this afternoon.  I shall return a sweaty triumph, and then I'll drink a ton of water, and it'll be amazing.  Maybe I'll even walk up the 8 flights of stairs to my cubie!  Hmm... that's a big maybe.  Or maybe I'll walk up 4 flights instead, and take the elevator the other half of the way.  Baby steps!

On the gluten-free front (for those of you who are playing along at home), I continue to learn as I go.  I accidentally "got glutened" on Friday night and spent most of the weekend wallowing in gassy, crampy agony on the couch.  I saw my doctor again on Monday, and she agreed that I seem to be responding generally well to the elimination diet.  They drew blood to run the celiac panel, and they're running a slew of other tests "just to be on the safe side."

I'm SO DONE with being sick all of the time and frequent trips to the clinic.  I'm hoping for some conclusive answers so I can get on with my life.

Saggy Britches

My size 14 jeans are noticeably baggy this morning!

It's amazing how success can creep up on you.  Yesterday, I almost posted a whiny-boob blog about how much everything sucks, and boo-hoo for me... but then I was being too melodramatic to actually post it.

And now this!

I think today is going to be a good day.

From the Gut

The drive home from work is torture -- even if you don't have gluten intolerance!  In a matter of blocks, I pass McDonald's, Wendy's, Milio's, Popeye's, Noodles & Co., Culver's, Hardee's, and four gas stations full of delicious donuts and various junk foods.  Yesterday was especially rough.  My mouth watered with each restaurant I passed, especially at the McDonald's, where posters of ice cream and chilled drinks plastered the windows.  Nom nom nom gluten goodness!

Okay, but the point is, I was good.  I drove on past and went home to my grilled chicken breast and green beans.  Later, I even rewarded myself for my good behavior with a small chocolate bar... except it was so sweet that it hurt my teeth, and I only ate two of the five segments.  Go me!

Problem:  I got sick again last night.  Celiac Disease for Dummies states that "your indigestions, bloating, flatulence, and diarrhea will likely start to ease within a few weeks."  Ouch.  I've been bouncing back faster and faster, but a bought if "illness" still knocks me down a few pegs and makes me feel like crap (no pun intended).

I'm determined to make the most of this, though, and today is a good day.  Despite the rain and all the fancy-pants work ladies who came prepared with umbrellas (but not me).  Despite the ick last night and this morning.  Despite being here at work, while I day dream of being holed up at home, tucked in and warm on the couch with the A/C going.  Today is what it is -- and that's just okay with me right now.

Every Wednesday, there's a small farmer's market right outside of my work.  I love seeing the sights on my breaks!  Today, I gifted myself a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers.  They're on my desk, doing an excellent job of making me smile.

I also picked up a gluten-free brownie from Silly Yak Bakery, my new FAVORITE STORE EVER.  They have mastered the art of baking gluten-free, and I highly recommend their products to anyone and everyone -- gluten intolerance or not!

Best.  Brownie.  Ever.

My goal for today is to drink copious amounts of water.  The scale read 194 this morning, but (besides two little pieces of chocolate and my devious brownie this morning) I've been meticulous about eating strictly clean.  My body is just happier and more cooperative when it's fully-hydrated.

Oh, and if I ever stop with the stomach upset, I might be able to get a real work-out in.  I tried to last night, but didn't get much accomplished for reasons that should be rather obvious.  < Insert witty joke about self here >  Har, har, har!

Drama Mama Moment

I'm at work today for the first time in a week (it's tough to be at work when you have diarrhea like whoa, okay), and I'm actually feeling pretty down.  I thought getting back to my routine would help me feel better... but not so.

So maybe I'm PMSing or something.  I don't know.  I'm just moody and generally "meh" right now.

It's hard to vocalize how it feels to be in my shoes right now.  I feel singled out and picked on, even though my gluten intolerance isn't anyone's fault.  I feel very alone... and THEN I feel disgusted with myself for being so pathetic!  Gluten intolerance isn't the end of the world.  It's not like I'm going to starve to death, be burned at a stake, or ridiculed for my condition.  No one even has to know if I don't want them to.  Here I go, being a drama mama again.

I'm still trying to keep up with the optimism thing.  Granted, I know that I won't ever feel excited about this, but at least sticking to a healthy diet just got a lot easier for me!  In that sense, I do consider myself lucky, because my willpower is mediocre.  Like the wimpy kid in gym class.

Moving on!  I'm going to work out tonight, drink so much water that I float away, and eat angelically.  Time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and stop moping around.  So long, cottage cheese thighs!  Adiós, bye-bye arms!  Never again, chunky middle!  This fat isn't going to evict itself.

A Gluten-Free Me

Long story short, I learned on July 1, 2010, that I am gluten intolerant.  The doctor I saw on Thursday suggested trying an elimination diet to rule out any other food allergies, but my symptoms have completely resolved since eliminating wheat and gluten products from my diet.  I either have celiac disease (which my doctor stated is the most probable case) or a severe wheat/gluten allergy.

I'll be tested eventually to determine whether or not I have celiac disease (better to know, I guess), but right now my number one priority is learning how to live gluten-free, which is something I will probably have to do for the rest of my life.

I've been on an emotional roller-coaster.  The optimistic side of me is ecstatic, because now I'm forced to stick to a rigid diet.  Unless I want to make myself very sick, I can't go for the junky snacks that have always held me back in the past.

At the same time, I feel... angry.  Cheated.  Alone.  I've been trying to be patient with myself, because I've even been getting angry with myself for feeling the way I do.  I feel selfish, because I'm actually very lucky!  My support system is still there, helping me as I find my feet again.  My husband has done loads of research about what I can and can't eat, and is already better at de-coding food labels than I am.

I've been trying to focus on one very important fact -- I feel better now than I have in months!  It's amazing how quickly my symptoms resolved when I removed gluten from my diet, but apparently this is very normal.

Another "silver lining" -- the weight has been falling off.  The scale read 192.6 pounds this morning!

There's definitely a learning curve here; I made myself sick on Saturday after eating French salad dressing and barbecue sauce (both of which are thickened with gluten-products -- who knew?!).  Most lipsticks contain gluten, as do "lickable envelopes."  I'm overwhelmed with information, but I'm sorting it out as quickly as I can.  One step at a time.  Despite all of this, I'm still convinced that good things are happening!

Photo Credit:  "Celiacs Do It Gluten Free" image is from Healthline.com.

The First Step

Since I'm getting into the habit of admitting everything, let me also confess that I am an avid gamer. The Xbox 360 is my console of choice; however, I did give in and pick up a Wii so that I could get in workouts with EA Active. Last night was my first workout in -- a really long time -- and it felt amazing!

I love working up a good sweat, and I was dripping by the time I was done. My intention had been to start with a few Low Intensity workouts to start re-building my (long gone) stamina, but on a whim, I decided to really push myself and went with a Medium Intensity routine instead.

I burned 136.4 calories in 20 minutes (not counting the half-hour or so that I spent rolling around the floor in agony, gasping "Oh, God!" and whining that I couldn't do it). Okay, so the point is, I did it!

My asthma was especially bad last night, which I can blame partly on the humidity and partly on my exercise absenteeism these past few months. I do have an emergency inhaler, but it makes me quite shaky and light-headed, which is not a good workout condition. (Note to self: Discuss other asthma management options with doctor). Once those details are ironed out, and once I build up some stamina again, exercise should become more enjoyable.

So yesterday was successful! I hit my calorie target, drank nine 8-ounce glasses of water, stretched, worked out, and slept like a rock. My muscles are sore and protesting today, but the ache reminds me of the positive changes I am making in my life.

Rinse, repeat.

Weighing In

Alright, I'll admit it -- candidly. I weigh as much now as I did when I was nine months pregnant. That doesn't seem possible, especially because (back in late 2007) I was only about 15 pounds away from achieving the coveted pre-baby weight.

Thanks to an unsightly birth control faux pas, I gained back all of my hard-shed pounds, and some of their closest friends, too. Around that time, struggling through postpartum depression made the weight gain seem like too much to deal with. I felt passive -- an object that could be acted upon but could not act. It really didn't even occur to me that I could do anything about my weight gain.

I'm 5'10".

When I met my husband, I weighed 145 pounds.

When my daughter was conceived, I weighed about 160.

Presently, I weigh in at 195 pounds (BMI: 28.0).

My high weight was 199 pounds (BMI: 28.6).

My goal is to get down to 155 pounds (BMI: 22.2).

My dream is to reach 145 again (BMI: 20.8).

It might take awhile, but the work will be well worth it! Fitting into my skinny jeans again will feel so good.

Addicted to Veggies

I'm an afternoon snacker. It's my vice.
Lately, given the whole diet/lifestyle change thing, I've been aiming to improve my snacking habits. This afternoon, when the 2 o'clock hunger pangs rolled around, I headed to the cafeteria and was pretty proud of myself when I skipped the vending machine and hit the salad bar instead. I loaded up on veggies -- celery sticks, baby carrots, cauliflower, and cherry tomatoes, with a light drizzle of balsamic vinaigrette.

At the checkout, the elderly cashier gazed up at me from her chair and said, "You must really be hungry for veggies today, huh?" Now, really -- commentary? On a healthy snack, no less?

There's definitely something "off" when it's perfectly acceptable to binge on large amounts of junk food each afternoon, but the purchase of vegetables raises an eyebrow.

Regardless, tiny successes like this are what keeps me going. (Another small win -- yesterday at the grocery store I bought myself Women's Health magazine instead of chocolate!)

As you will find out, I am a 23-year-old gal on a mission. To lose weight. Edit: A substantial amount of weight. I want to drop somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 pounds, and I want to look and feel better on the way.

Sure, I've been down this path before -- many times, actually. My biggest hiccup has been the detours of Mommyhood. It's hard enough to keep a sense-of-self when you're married and have a child, but have you ever tried losing weight while catering to a three-year-old's diet of macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, french fries, and ketchup? It hasn't worked so well for me.

However, it's time to start making my lifestyle work for me. That's why I've started The Mama Diet -- which isn't actually a diet, but rather a series of healthy choices that will add up to a major lifestyle change. I'm not letting work, school, or parenthood be my excuses anymore.

I'm not in this alone. I have built myself a network of supports, which includes my amazing husband, some groovy workout buddies, the Calorie King system, and the Healthy You Challenge!

Let's do this.